Saying No

The old saying “less is more” usually applies to more trivial matters such as how many accessories or make-up one should wear. But I’ve found that it applies to my schedule too. I guess one of the benefits of getting older is gaining more wisdom and insight on what truly leads to a meaningful, fulfilled life. And these days, the less I have on my plate, the more fulfilled I feel.

And yet…there are times when I feel guilty for having free time. Here’s an example: This quarter I’ve been helping teach the three year-olds on Wednesday nights at church. They’re precocious, adorable little cherubs…on a good night. Other nights, they’re a handful, to say the least. Tomorrow night’s the last night of the quarter (but who’s counting?) and I’ve been looking forward to rejoining the adult classes for at least a quarter.

But…today I was asked to teach again in the summer quarter, which begins next week. And so the battle began. I desperately wanted a break from teaching, and yet part of me felt guilty for not stepping up to the plate when called upon.

After a few moments of this mental battle, I finally declined the “opportunity” to teach and offered to teach again later in the year, after I’d taken a break. Thankfully, I don’t have a lingering sense of guilt about saying no. I learned several years ago that the more “ministries” I take on, the more burned-out I feel and thus become a useless heap, unfit for any type of service.

But I must admit, I DO still wrestle from time to time with my desire for time to regroup versus the call to do my “good Christian duty” (which, for most women in the church, involves either teaching or nursery duty). I ask God to use me, but then I cringe at the thought of teaching another quarter.

Anyone else out there experience the guilt of saying “No” to ministry, even when you’re really burned out and well deserving of (and desperately needing) a break?

God Hears and Answers

You would think that after having been a Christian for more than 17 years now, I wouldn't be too surprised when God answers prayers anymore. Well, think again. Despite my church upbringing, Bible classes, devos, personal study time and countless hours spent in prayer, God continues to blow me away sometimes. I suppose that's not necessarily a bad thing; I hope I never reach the point of seeing God as predictable.

I mentioned in my last posting that I was having a stressful week. Thankfully, the week steadily improved, due in no small part to the prayers of friends and family who interceded on my behalf. God bless them. As the week progressed, it seemed that God was one step ahead of me, anticipating my needs and providing for them before the words were barely out of my mouth to ask Him. It's an incredible feeling to know that He truly does care.

Over the weekend, God continued to confirm His love and care for me. The other day someone made a remark to me that sort of rubbed me the wrong way. It was stupid, really, but still hurt my feelings. I didn't say anything at the time, but later the words came back to me and I found myself licking my wounds and wondering what catty, pointed remark I could make to let this person know that they'd hurt me and they'd better cough up an apology, pronto.

THANKFULLY, God stopped me from saying anything. I decided to leave the matter in His hands. I would trust that if it was worth getting bent out of shape about, then God would convict that person about it. Otherwise, I was to let the matter drop. WAY easier said than done, I might add.

A few hours later, that person called and, in the midst of our conversation, suddenly apologized for the remark. I was overwhelmed with how perfectly God arranged that situation, so that I didn't try to coerce an apology out of them. Taking the matter to God and waiting on Him was SO much better than if I'd let the wound fester or if I'd acted like a hypersensitive brat. Again, God reminded me that He hears and knows what's going on in my life, and that He cares enough to act on my behalf. Even in seemingly petty little matters.

Whatever this week holds, good or bad, I'm thankful that God has been so evident to me lately and that He'll be with me no matter what I face. Hope your week is filled with evidence of God!

Overwhelmed

I'm feeling overwhelmed. There is a lot to do at work, both major and minor projects to complete before I go out of town next week. There's also a lot to do at home, around the house and in the yard, before I start traveling. And there are several evenings over the next week where I have events to attend.

(Quick aside: One can be overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but can you ever be just plain whelmed? But I digress...)

I feel like time is working against me, which is a burdensome feeling. I'm having a hard time letting go of my schedule and plans and turning them over to God. I can lay them down on the altar of sacrifice; unprying my fingers from them, however, is another story. And that's a good way to get burned.

Thankfully, in times like this where I'm feeling overwhelmed with life, God refreshes me. Today's He's using the encouragement of others. My wonderful boyfriend, for instance, let me know that he's praying over all the stresses of my week. I needed to hear that this morning. When I don't feel like I have the mental or physical or emotional energy to utter prayers for myself, God brings other people alongside me to intercede on my behalf.

I'm reminded of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12: "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

Thank You, God, for using so many people in my life to strengthen and encourage and defend me when I am too overwhelmed to do it on my own.